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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Geeze, I almost forgot!

TLAPD

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day today! I just about forgot! Arrrrghhhh!


From the TLAPD web site (I did NOT write these):

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.


Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

5 Comments:

Blogger Leonesse said...

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

That one gave me pause. urrrgh.

What I would love to hear is Dagmar talking like a pirate. You should You Tube that!

2:21 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Ha! "Awast, Skallivag!"

2:26 PM  
Blogger pistols at dawn said...

Top pick-up line for all women: "Let's do it."

That's all it takes, women.

4:34 PM  
Blogger Leonesse said...

When you are married all it takes is a look, Pistols. Just a look, and over the shoulder and up the stairs.

7:31 PM  
Blogger The Guv'ner said...

Top pick up for all men: "Want to see my king sized bed? It's made of CHOCOLATE!"

For today you can add "me hearties" on the end of that, to be topical.

10:24 PM  

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